Most any blogger can tell you about moments like this. The ones where you wonder why you blog, is it worth the time you put into it, does anyone even read it?
But right now I’m feeling discouraged on an entirely new level.
My mom was really, truly, my biggest fan. She subscribed to my blog via email and commented on almost every single post- also via email. It didn’t matter if it was a review, a recipe, about my weight loss, she had some sort of encouragement or nice comment for me. She told me time and time again how proud she was of me, my kids, the choices I’ve made for my family. My mom entered all of my giveaways, and even won a couple! She commented on my pictures and as a writer herself, gave me lots of great advice.
But as some of you already know, my mom passed away on April 24th.
The last few weeks I’ve thought a lot about time. How I manage it, what I spend it on, how much of it I have left. I can’t help but think I need to throw in the towel on blogging and just spend every single second I have with my husband and kids, making time count.
But then I remember those emails I have tucked away in a folder that came from my mom:
"But with your blog, I can read about daily events, hopes and dreams,
plans for the future. I feel connected with your life.
Please don't ever stop writing.
And I keep writing. I do this as a creative outlet for myself and I know she’d be disappointed if I stopped. I know she is watching from above, still proud of me and the choices I am making. And still reading along with all of you.
I get knocked down, but I get up again. Because that is what you do.
I’ve never in my life gone more than a few days without talking to my mom. So to say the last month has been hard would be an understatement. But like always, I pick up the pieces, give my family a hug and we go forward with our new normal.