2015,  Relationships

The one that got away

The one that got away, or maybe the ones that you kicked to the curb- I’m talking ex boyfriends today. We all have them, the one we cried over, fought for and thought we would never get over.

So where are yours now? Do you know? Do you care? Do you ever wonder how different your life would be had things worked out with them? Where you might live, how your family would look?

I had more crushes on boys in school than I can even remember but have only actually dated a few people. (I’m not talking about my boyfriend in 2nd grade, or the one that lasted longer than some of my adult relationships for part of 3rd-6th grade. Same boy. Now that is commitment, but, I mean, we rarely talked outside of school so….)

But then there was my very first boyfriend that I met right towards the end of 8th grade. I then dated him for half of high school too. I totally count that because I loved him with all of my little 13 year old heart. I know some people say “You don’t know love” or “You’re just a kid”, “You’re too young”, well yes, we were young but I think when you are young you are learning to love and you love with all you know. While I am not “friends” with this guy, we are fb friends so I occasionally see how he and is family are doing.

My next boyfriend I met in a movie theater. My friend and I went to a movie and he was by himself sitting a few rows behind us. I don’t even think the movie had started yet and I told my BFF that I wanted to go sit with him. And so we got up and moved next to him. Him and I talked the entire movie and exchanged info afterwards. The downside? We lived in different states. My friend and I just happened to be in another state with my mom visiting my dad while he worked out of town. So this guy and I started writing letters back and forth and talked on the phone once a week or so. After months of writing we decided to be “boyfriend and girlfriend” Yes, even though we were 5 states apart. I don’t know exactly why I thought that would be a good idea… I was 16 after all. But after just a few short months he decided it was better that we breakup. I won’t ever forget sitting on my bed having just hung up the phone, so upset. Talking to my mom about how he just broke up with me and crying in her lap thinking my heart was broken into a million pieces.

the worst mistake

A few months later I met the guy I would marry. We only dated 10 month before he proposed and got married 7 months after that. And he unexpectedly passed away on our 1 and a 1/2 year anniversary. Most of you know that part of my story.

About a year later I reconnected with the guy who lived states away. This time he happened to be even further away as he had joined the military and was out of the country. We decided that when he got home we would do what we needed to finally meet up. But then I met someone. I guess I have a thing for unrealistic relationships because this one lived across the state from me. 4 1/2 hours away isn’t terrible but not ideal, right?

You're my

I have to say that I think I learned the most from this guy. I learned what a relationship shouldn’t be. And I learned what I didn’t want. Though, at the time I didn’t see it that way at all. The year and a half that we long distance dated, going across the state to see him every couple of weeks and him coming to see me every couple of weeks was stressful. We both worked retail jobs and our schedules were always different. We tried to make it work and the trust issues I had with him should have been a sign, right? But not for me. We finally broke up but weren’t going to see other people. That typically doesn’t turn out well… but I thought we’d have the break we needed and get back together and everything would be good. When actually what happen was we still saw each other and acted like we were dating until one time when I got to his city, the night before we were supposed to go spend days at the ocean, and he told me he was seeing someone else. Yes, my eyes finally flew open and I walked away from the “relationship” for good.

such crapI took a lot of time for myself. I wanted to find out who I was without a guy in my life. What I wanted for mine and my son’s life and started being happy with it being just us.

You know that saying about when you stop looking that is when the right person comes into your life?

It is so true.

It wasn’t like I had given up on guys but I wasn’t watching for “the one” on every street corner. I didn’t find myself wondering if the cute guy at the bar was going to someday be my husband. I really just focused my myself and my child.

Untitled

And that is when it happened. When I met Travis. We dated for almost 3 years when we got married. We’ve had our share of ups and downs, what relationship doesn’t? But we are always respectful of each other .

*** I want to say that I love my husband. We are good and I have never been happier in a relationship than I am right now. This post has nothing to do with him or my feelings for him and I often think of the Rascal Flatts song, Bless the Broken Road, because I am grateful for those past relationships leading me to the right man. ***

It’s funny when you look back on life, on relationships, etc. And you realize that the men, friends, jobs that you thought you’d never forget are so far in the back of your head and that is right where they need to be. I am so grateful for where life has taken me, including the ups and downs because of where I am today. With my amazing husband who loves with everything he has. Who works so hard to support our family, and appreciates the job I do at home with our three kids.

So thank you to those ex’s that broke my heart. To the one that got away.

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